USB Talking Parrot
Get all the fun of owning a parrot without any of the hassle of feeding or cleaning it’s cage.
The USB talking parrot listens in to what you say and repeats bits of it back in a parrot-like voice whilst flapping it’s wings.
£17 to get idle gossip broadcast to the whole office.
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iSharpener USB Pencil Sharpener
I can’t remember the last time I used a pencil but they must still be in use in some dark and dingy corners of this world, so if you frequent the aforementioned dark and dingy corners toiling with a blunt pencil, then some light has finally found your miserable existence.
£14 satisfies your need for a pencil sharpener with a crazy light show.
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USB Dancemat Game
If you find your fingers need a warm up in the morning before a hard day’s typing, then the USB Dancemat game maybe just what you’re looking for.
Strap on the dancing girl, plug in the game, limber up and then get on with your morning finger work out. Also useful for concert pianoists.
Just £8 buys you pure finger toning and joint suppleness. Play with your friends and have a finger dance-off!
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USB Roll Up Piano
Swap your computer keyboard for a piano keyboard with this ultra portable and roll up piano keyboard USB device.
Just plug it in and play. Comes with software to help you learn, let you record, add percussion, email music to friends and lots more.
All this for £20, now that’s what I call twinkling the old ivories.
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USB Humping Dog
The USB humping dog is possibly the most useless product we’ve featured so far, it does nothing except hump your computer.
A horny mutt in season and overdosing on doggie Viagara, this little guy goes at it with that sexy little USB port like a sailor on the last day of shore leave.
Just £7 and no vet bills.
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USB Fairy Lights
Following on from the last post featuring the USB Christmas Tree, here are some fairy lights to help spread the Christmas spirit from your desk.
£7 buys you unadulterated joy via these stunning illuminations. Attach them to your monitor, laptop or even your head like some futuristic Caesar from a dystopian hellscape.
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USB Fibre Optic Christmas Tree
To help get you in the Christmas spirit at work when all around you is a crushing sense of dispair and disappointment, maybe a USB Christmas Tree can paper over the deep, deep cracks of broken childhood dreams?
Give it a shot. For only £7, the speed at which your life is freewheeling into the grave might slow..ever so slightly…maybe.
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Tengu
Aaahhh, isn’t he cute!?
“It’s only a puppet!”
This little fella is a karaoke robot that can sit next to your computer and bash out the hits as you play them. He responds to any sound, so even if you are playing music and someone comes up to your desk and starts talking, Tengu will mouth along with them…mockingly.
For £20, what’s not to love?
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Brick USB Memory Stick – 2GB/4GB
You want a memory stick but not just any memory stick, you want something that resonates with your past and brings back a tangible human emotion when you’re backing up your work.
Here it is the ‘Brick USB Memory Stick’ – notice the deliberate absence of the ‘L’ word, I think there’s some copyright reason why it’s not mentioned.
You got the 2GB for £25 or the 4GB for £35. More than enough space unless you’re backing up your grot collection, in which case you need to wait until they bring out the brick airport memory stick with 90 terrabytes.
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USB Whack It
They may look cute and this may seem childish but check out the video of USB Whack it in action, this game ain’t a piece of cake.
You need rapid thumbs, fingers of pure velocity and a quickened mind.
Just £10 for this little ensemble of time-sucking amusement, ideal for any desk drone job. Why not start an inter-departmental league? Paydays will be coming round quicker than you can say “Did I just get a new high score?”
